Me: “Hey, Tweak – you want to take the Ice Bucket Challenge?”

Tweak: “To fit inside one? I could do that.”

Me: “No, no. We pour ice water over our heads.”

Tweak: “On purpose?”

Me: “To raise money.”

Tweak: “For what – common sense?”

Me: “No, for Lou Gehrig.”

Tweak: “Who is Lou Gehrig?”

Me: “He was a baseball player.”

Tweak: “Was he really horrible at it or something? Why does he need money? Hookers? Blow? Is he upside down on his mortgage because of steroids?”

Me: “No, he was a very good ball player. But he got sick.”

Tweak: “With what – cancer? Irritable Bowel? Ebola?”

Me: “He got Lou Gehrig’s Disease.”

Tweak: “Of course he did. I’m probably going to die of ‘Tweak.’”

Me: “Aren’t we all.”

Tweak: “What happens after we dump ice water on our heads?”

Me: “We pretend to like it. Then we ask for money. Then we persuade others to join us.”

Tweak blinks, stares at me long and hard.

Tweak: “Jim Jones called that the ‘Kool-Aid Challenge.’”

Me: “Who’s thirsty??”

 

31 August 2014, “Tolerating Tweak”